


Kids

by RJLupin



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anger, Broadway, Character Bashing, Comedy, Filk, Gen, Hate Speech, Hogwarts, Hogwarts First Year, Parody, Potions, Potions Accident, Singing, Song Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-05
Updated: 2014-09-05
Packaged: 2018-02-16 07:19:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2260869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RJLupin/pseuds/RJLupin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Severus Snape cannot stand the kids he has to teach at Hogwarts. Particularly, Harry, Hermione, and Neville. A filk to the song "Kids" from Bye Bye Birdie!</p><p>Trouble making, cauldron breaking<br/>Morons!<br/>And while we're on the subject<br/>Scars!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kids

**Author's Note:**

> "Kids" to the song of the same name from Bye Bye Birdie. (Using the Original Broadway Cast version)
> 
> Originally filked summer 2004.

**SNAPE**  
Kids!  
Do you know what's wrong with these kids today?  
Kids!  
Chuck 'em out and then lock them all away!  
Kids!  
An idiot or insuff'rable know-it-all!  
Trouble making, cauldron breaking  
Morons!  
And while we're on the subject  
  
Scars!  
Potter thinks he's a real celeb with one!  
Scars!  
So he lived, so what, 'cause what's done is done!  
And yet all of my students  
Worship him and I say  
What's the matter with kids today?!  
  
Kids!  
 _(spoken, imitating Harry Potter)_  
I'm Harry Potter, worship me because of the injury on my forehead!  
 _(sung)_  
Kids!  
 _(spoken, imitating Hermione Granger raising her hand)_  
Oh! Call on me! I suffer from Know-it-all-ititus!  
 _(sung)_  
Kids!  
 _(spoken, imitating Neville Longbottom melting a cauldron)_  
Oops! Golly gee, I'm hopeless! That's the...never mind, I forgot how to count.  
  
(sung)  
Dunderheads with  
A brain of lead  
Dumbells!  
  
And while we're on the subject  
Kids!  
They are always putting toes out of line!  
Kids!  
What they need is a smack on their behind!  
I'd curse them on purpose if  
I taught DADA!  
What's the matter with kids today?!?!


End file.
